Just Me

Hi.

My name is Galuh Dilla. I was born on August 2nd 2002 in Purwakarta, West Java. I am my parents' first daughter and have a little sister. My family is a full of love and supportive one, which makes me very grateful. My parents are warm and understanding. They never demand or push me to do this and that. They put a trust in me, instead. They believe in my capability and think that I'm mature enough to decide something for my own good so even though they always keep an eye on my behavior, they never meddle in my business unless they're thinking I start to do something negative. This trust they put in me that always makes me want to be the best version of myself. When I feel insecure or feel like I'm-going-to-fail-anyway-that-there's-no-need-to-try-hard, I think about them and that they love me deeply and believe in me, so I have to believe in myself too. I also remember about how I want to make them proud and happy so I have to keep working hard. Furthermore, my sister is the cutest girl ever (although I will never admit this to her because I know she will be super annoying). She has the purest heart I've ever known. Aside from her needs as a child that's sometimes nonsense, she always thinks about giving and never expecting anything in return (unless for her birthday, I suppose). She spreads love and happiness for people around her. She never hold grudges. Or maybe she does, I don't know, but she's always so kind, even to the people that have been cruel to her. Her smile is widest when she's given surprises or after she did something for someone that makes them happy. She and my parents are the people I love the most in the whole wide world. They are the reason why I keep going even though life gets hard.

Meanwhile, I think I'm a person who's honest and direct. When it is time for me to speak, I tell people what's on my mind frankly. I still haven't decided whether this is a strength or weakness, because even though society says honesty is important, I think deep down a person who's being honest makes them feel uneasy. In other words, being honest probably makes some people dislike me. The thing is I don't really care about what people think. I'm also strong-willed and responsible when I'm doing something, especially if I know what's the purpose of it. However, I'm quite insensitive for some things. Even though I never intend to, I think there must be times when I hurt someone's feelings because of my insensitivity. I don't care about what others think, but I still care if someone feel hurt because of me and my insensitivity, so I wish that they would just say it if I start to be mean but most people's problem is expressing what they feel, I guess. The other weakness of mine is I'm always by the book. I believe things could be perfect only if I follow the rules and methods that are already existed, so it's hard for me to be in an unstructured environments or improvising. I also feel sleepy easily, especially at times when I really need to stay awake (example: the night before an exam) and feel super energetic at bed time. Really (not) funny. 

I'm not quite sure about my hobbies, but I enjoy re-reading old books because, even though it may sounds weird, re-reading books is like visiting old friends. Re-reading old books feels safe and familiar and it makes me feel calm and comforted. It also makes me feel less lonely and when I miss my loved ones, re-reading books that I know by heart is a cure because it almost feels like coming home.

The things I do in school is studying, obviously, and joining OSIS to train my soft skill. Joining an organization helps me a lot in managing my time and being discipline, especially when it is about balancing my academic and organization life. Even though I feel tired sometimes, I realize this is the best option to spend my time. Besides, when my schedule is full, I'm aware that I have only a little free time that I have to spend it well. When I have too much free time, I start to think that I have a lot of time so I tend to procrastinate and do useless things. Outside school, I only join one course to help me understanding subject materials better.

In the last post, I've told you that I want to be a psychiatrist because I want people to realize that mental health is important. Also, I want my family to be happy and proud of me, and I think they would feel so if I become a doctor. I know how this might sound to you--it's like I live my life based on others' expectations. But I guess not really. They expect a lot from me, true, but it is completely my choice to be anything I want and I choose to live my life doing the thing that makes me happy the most.